Prayer.

The things going on in the world.
seems like everywhere you turn,
there's suffering.
there's pain.
there's loss.
there's trouble.
there's a problem.
that needs to be fixed.
but no one steps in.
or if they do, it's not enough.
either if it's a big problem or a small problem...
I hear about it...
and I end up feeling helpless.
and left out.
compared to these problems,
my problems seem like nothing.
then I feel bad, for being so selfish.
the world is changing.
there's moments.. when I truly believe the world will end in 2012.
I'm not going to go on a rant about why I think so.
but.. so many problems.
around the world.
and no one is stepping in.
I feel so helpless.
I want to say the right thing,
I want to do the right thing....


but I don't know what that thing is.

so all I know is,
I'm sorry I can't do anything. I really really want to.
but I can't.
I feel so helpless.

even when i TRY to say something that might even offer some comfort....

I feel like it doesn't help.

all I'm good for is cheering people up.

which is why I'm never good at deep conversations.

I don't like opening myself up too open.

I don't like getting too deep.

because then I don't know when I'll stop.

anyway, this isn't about me.

this is about you.

I'm sorry for everything you've been through,
everything that's gone wrong.
I feel so helpless..
and I just can't find the words to say.

but it's in His Hands.
trust. in Him.
he's by you, every step of the way.
carrying you when you've fallen,
aiding you when you're getting back up.

you will be in my prayers.

Believe In Him.
Trust In Him.

Pray.

believe in yourself. believe in yourself. believe in yourself.

ha. that's what I'm trying to convince myself. that I'm worth believing.

i don't know how much i can say about this..
but i guess this ties into my last 'what hurts the most' blog post,
when I say that it hurts the most when the person you love,
just says the wrong thing.
something you didn't want to hear.
so bad, it hurts.
and it hurts more,
when you find out
that through everything
they don't believe in you.



that, I think... just makes it harder to believe in yourself.

is it too much to ask, for someone, at the right time.. to say that they believe in you?
I know it's weird. if you randomly go up to someone.. "hey. I believe in you."
but if someone did that right now.. I swear, I'd be touched.

and yes, some of your other friends might console you.
but.. even though that cushions the fall..
I think it hurts a little bit more..
because the thought that the person you love can't even say those words...
those simple, simple words...
and yet your friends can...

I don't know. hurts a little bit more inside.
knowing that the person you're trying to impress, trying to raise faith in....
won't accept it. won't listen.
won't believe. in you. when you really need them to.

whatever. i dont know if im making any sense right now.

no one reads this anyway.



bed. hopefully it'll be sunnier in the morning. please let it be sunnier in the morning.
gosh, i just hope I can prove her wrong.

ha. who am I kidding.

I guess some things just aren't worth believing in.