everything has to end.
I know I posted a similar post to this a while back, but I've thought more since then.
I had a great day today. I went to church, I felt the bond.
I felt, I saw. I witnessed.
you don't know how many times during church I teared up. sooo many times. twice when we were on stage singing, once during the lesson, and several during lunch/park.
my church is a place of shelter. comfort. yes, it's the house of God. there, in that place, we worship God, sing praises.
you could follow rules, but you don't have to believe.
but see, the thing is.. we all believe.
and that makes the bond inside us stronger.
we're closer than the normal group of people.
no matter where we go, I always know that my true friends are with TCC youth.
that sounds generic, doesn't it?
if you think about it.. how many people do you know who have a group of friends they can tell EVERYTHING to, and expect them to always be there, and comfort you?
you may think, "A lot of people have that." but, truly?
we're so closely knitted, we've been through so much together- pain, tears, fights.. these are the best people I could ever have. I can't even describe the love that's in us. we can play together, and when we're upset.. I know I'll always have someone who will TRULY care about me, TRULY listen to me, and TRULY comfort me. sometimes.. you don't have that. sometimes it's just someone saying "Oh, Maria, Are you Okay?!?!" and when you tell them what's wrong, they don't really do anything. they might not be able to.. but all they do is just walk away. I've had that happen to me a lot. pouring your heart out, and getting nothing in return. there's memories made EVERYWHERE in our church.. and the whole place just makes me happier.
I can't even describe the love that I felt today. this day will keep me happy until the next time I see you guys. I'll miss you a lot.. but I know you'll be there, and when I get back.. let's live it up.
It never lasts.
Happiness.
just take it while you got it.
and enjoy.
live it up!
enjoy the little things.
cherish the memories made.
don't brood or hold a grudge.
don't be sad for long.
happiness.
it never lasts.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
IMEA '09.
IMEA 2009!
was actually pretty fun.
Ann Green was there. my friend from last year! and I made a new friend- Haelie.
I actually felt pretty popular. made a new browndark haired friend- JEREMYYYY!
hahah, Maja was there too, we hung out.
& Annie! that was like the basic crew.
the thing that struck me the most was the IMEA band was SO good. so UNBELIEVEABLY good. we had a PennU band director and right when we got there we sounded amazing.
overall, it was a great night.
I'm exhausted.. but it was great. :)
was actually pretty fun.
Ann Green was there. my friend from last year! and I made a new friend- Haelie.
I actually felt pretty popular. made a new browndark haired friend- JEREMYYYY!
hahah, Maja was there too, we hung out.
& Annie! that was like the basic crew.
the thing that struck me the most was the IMEA band was SO good. so UNBELIEVEABLY good. we had a PennU band director and right when we got there we sounded amazing.
overall, it was a great night.
I'm exhausted.. but it was great. :)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
thoughts.
we always want what we know we can't have.
no matter how much you want it,
you know you can't have it.
no matter how much you want it,
you know you can't have it.
Friday, November 13, 2009
enjoy the little things.
you know how everybody has their crappy days, crappy weeks?
there's a period of time where everyone's on their low.. doesn't matter how it happened, why it happened, or how low you are.
you're upset.. and your self esteem is down in the pits, you find yourself feeling lonely, and just not happy.
maybe some people haven't been there. you're lucky.
where you feel like everything in your life is falling apart, and you don't think you're worth much.
you feel like you should just lose hope and get over it.
well, recently I saw an R rated movie that was funny, inappropriate, and inspiring at the same time.
it told us to "enjoy the little things." there's always going to be something in life that upsets us. something in life that's not exactly what we want.
but open your eyes. and then you'll see that there's more to life than grades.. or drama.. or anything like that. not that that's not important! stay in school. but worrying about it isn't going to help. enjoy the little things. every single little moment.. cherish it, hold on to it. I know that sounds generic.. everyone says things like this.. but it's in your saddest, most painful moments when you're really down. thinking terrible thoughts, about yourself, and everything. recently I've noticed that noticing and remembering, reminiscing on the good times, thinking about memories.. it makes you happier. makes you forget about all that's happening.. at least for a while. and it helps. enjoying every little thing.. maybe a smile, or just something good that happened to you. enjoying the little things. it opens your eyes.. you see the world from a happier perspective. sometimes happy things don't necessarily have to be big. all around you, good things are happening. sometimes we just don't slow down enough to notice.
I've noticed that sometimes the little things can mean the most. ENJOY those moments. make it a memory. and when you're sad and down and feeling bad.. you'll notice that most of the time, it's those little words, those little things that make you smile and feel better.
there's memories made around every corner. sometimes we've just got to slow down, open our eyes, enjoy the little things in life, and forget the bad.. make a memory.. even if it will only last for a while.
because in the end.. that's what you'll remember the best.
there's a period of time where everyone's on their low.. doesn't matter how it happened, why it happened, or how low you are.
you're upset.. and your self esteem is down in the pits, you find yourself feeling lonely, and just not happy.
maybe some people haven't been there. you're lucky.
where you feel like everything in your life is falling apart, and you don't think you're worth much.
you feel like you should just lose hope and get over it.
well, recently I saw an R rated movie that was funny, inappropriate, and inspiring at the same time.
it told us to "enjoy the little things." there's always going to be something in life that upsets us. something in life that's not exactly what we want.
but open your eyes. and then you'll see that there's more to life than grades.. or drama.. or anything like that. not that that's not important! stay in school. but worrying about it isn't going to help. enjoy the little things. every single little moment.. cherish it, hold on to it. I know that sounds generic.. everyone says things like this.. but it's in your saddest, most painful moments when you're really down. thinking terrible thoughts, about yourself, and everything. recently I've noticed that noticing and remembering, reminiscing on the good times, thinking about memories.. it makes you happier. makes you forget about all that's happening.. at least for a while. and it helps. enjoying every little thing.. maybe a smile, or just something good that happened to you. enjoying the little things. it opens your eyes.. you see the world from a happier perspective. sometimes happy things don't necessarily have to be big. all around you, good things are happening. sometimes we just don't slow down enough to notice.
I've noticed that sometimes the little things can mean the most. ENJOY those moments. make it a memory. and when you're sad and down and feeling bad.. you'll notice that most of the time, it's those little words, those little things that make you smile and feel better.
there's memories made around every corner. sometimes we've just got to slow down, open our eyes, enjoy the little things in life, and forget the bad.. make a memory.. even if it will only last for a while.
because in the end.. that's what you'll remember the best.
the balance beam we call 'life'.
life's usually pretty straightforward. to be general, all you need to do is get past a few steps, and live it out.. and then we meet someone, fall in love, have a family, and die.
but even though those may be what we call the 'guidelines' of life, there's a broader and even larger picture here. think of life as a balance beam. there's obstacles. either if it's rocks in your way, or maybe a step that's missing, or maybe a piece of wood that's wobbly and about to fall off.. you've just got to find your balance and be able to jump over it.. either alone, or if you're lucky, you've got someone holding your hand.
hey, guess what. you do have someone holding your hand. and that someone is Jesus. even in the times when we think we're alone, in the times where we're crying, asking for help, wanting someone to go to or somewhere to go, he's there. you may not notice, you may not know. he's always there with you. by your side. no matter how lonely you feel. even when you are surrounded by many people, masking your feelings. he knows. he is there. with you. every step of the way. you've got to know that Jesus will never abandon you, he will never leave you. when you feel alone, he's there. he's carrying you, holding your hand, leading you step by step.
sometimes, you're on a hill. and you're standing at the edge of the curb, on a hill. you climb taller and taller, going through life, or your day. as you climb taller, there's a point where you look down and you start getting afraid. getting afraid that you're going to fall off; getting afraid that you're going to fall, afraid that something might happen. some people, on their first tries climbing off that hill, they step off, turn around, and go back down, afraid and not willing to take the risk of going up that hill, that extra step. but force yourself to go up that hill. force yourself to take the step onto that second ledge, the one that's higher than the ground you were just on. because once you get to the top, you'll realize that you can balance through the whole thing, and you're proud of yourself. you've gotten to the top, and now all you can do is go down. getting to the top is hard. looking back and looking down, while attempting to climb to the top.. I was scared to take the next step. step onto the next ledge, on the hill that would bring me higher above ground. I was so scared I would fall off. I ended up turning around and stepping on to normal ground. I decided that there was no point in giving up; I admit I fell a few times.. gladly, I fell to the side where there was support. think about that. in life, we fall. we all fall. it might be a bad fall.. sometimes it might just be a little stumble. the ones that stumble, consider yourselves lucky. but the ones who fall all out; fall down the hill, fall off the ledge.. it takes a while to get back up, doesn't it? even MORE obstacles in your way, either it be pain or suffer.. either way, you know you have to get back up. we all fall. don't even deny it. you might think that your life is fine.. sooner or later, you're going to fall. but after you fall, it can't get any worse. there still are obstacles.. but you've learned that there's nothing to fear- you can balance, and even if you fall.. it'll be easier to get up.
Life is like that. we all fall down, once in our life. or maybe more than once. there's SO MANY obstacles in life; a rock in your way, a plank of wood not securely fastened.. that's how you get stronger. you fall, but you get stronger. the obstacles- we learn to overcome.
Jesus is with us. through our whole journey. he holds our hand.. he spots us when we stumble and falls. he helps us get up.. but we have to help ourselves first. he holds us when we fall.. and he makes us stronger. he puts these obstacles and falls in our life, in order to make us learn. for us to become stronger, and have strong faith in Him. we grow in faith when we fall. we grow in hope.
Jesus is always with us. You and Me. No matter what. at your lonliest times, at your busiest times. Always. holding your hand.
but even though those may be what we call the 'guidelines' of life, there's a broader and even larger picture here. think of life as a balance beam. there's obstacles. either if it's rocks in your way, or maybe a step that's missing, or maybe a piece of wood that's wobbly and about to fall off.. you've just got to find your balance and be able to jump over it.. either alone, or if you're lucky, you've got someone holding your hand.
hey, guess what. you do have someone holding your hand. and that someone is Jesus. even in the times when we think we're alone, in the times where we're crying, asking for help, wanting someone to go to or somewhere to go, he's there. you may not notice, you may not know. he's always there with you. by your side. no matter how lonely you feel. even when you are surrounded by many people, masking your feelings. he knows. he is there. with you. every step of the way. you've got to know that Jesus will never abandon you, he will never leave you. when you feel alone, he's there. he's carrying you, holding your hand, leading you step by step.
sometimes, you're on a hill. and you're standing at the edge of the curb, on a hill. you climb taller and taller, going through life, or your day. as you climb taller, there's a point where you look down and you start getting afraid. getting afraid that you're going to fall off; getting afraid that you're going to fall, afraid that something might happen. some people, on their first tries climbing off that hill, they step off, turn around, and go back down, afraid and not willing to take the risk of going up that hill, that extra step. but force yourself to go up that hill. force yourself to take the step onto that second ledge, the one that's higher than the ground you were just on. because once you get to the top, you'll realize that you can balance through the whole thing, and you're proud of yourself. you've gotten to the top, and now all you can do is go down. getting to the top is hard. looking back and looking down, while attempting to climb to the top.. I was scared to take the next step. step onto the next ledge, on the hill that would bring me higher above ground. I was so scared I would fall off. I ended up turning around and stepping on to normal ground. I decided that there was no point in giving up; I admit I fell a few times.. gladly, I fell to the side where there was support. think about that. in life, we fall. we all fall. it might be a bad fall.. sometimes it might just be a little stumble. the ones that stumble, consider yourselves lucky. but the ones who fall all out; fall down the hill, fall off the ledge.. it takes a while to get back up, doesn't it? even MORE obstacles in your way, either it be pain or suffer.. either way, you know you have to get back up. we all fall. don't even deny it. you might think that your life is fine.. sooner or later, you're going to fall. but after you fall, it can't get any worse. there still are obstacles.. but you've learned that there's nothing to fear- you can balance, and even if you fall.. it'll be easier to get up.
Life is like that. we all fall down, once in our life. or maybe more than once. there's SO MANY obstacles in life; a rock in your way, a plank of wood not securely fastened.. that's how you get stronger. you fall, but you get stronger. the obstacles- we learn to overcome.
Jesus is with us. through our whole journey. he holds our hand.. he spots us when we stumble and falls. he helps us get up.. but we have to help ourselves first. he holds us when we fall.. and he makes us stronger. he puts these obstacles and falls in our life, in order to make us learn. for us to become stronger, and have strong faith in Him. we grow in faith when we fall. we grow in hope.
Jesus is always with us. You and Me. No matter what. at your lonliest times, at your busiest times. Always. holding your hand.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
the necessity of hope.
is it true that wishes come true on 11:11?
well.. what if it's 11/11/09?
ahaha, not that a wish came true today. but something good did come out of this day.
not just no school.. I actually WANTED school, home life isn't all that great right now.
-
sometimes my hopes get dragged down all the way to the bottom and I somewhat lose hope, lose the faith.. but then something good happens and I just get all my hopes back, I'm ecstatic, and I rise up to Cloud 9.
and then it goes back down again. eventually, the happiness has to end.
why is that?
why is it that every time something good happens..
we know that something bad is coming.
no matter how great that moment or memory was..
I just can't be happy for too long.. I know something's going to ruin it.
so the only thing I can actually do is just not be too excited, not get my hopes up.
what's the point in hope, then?
if we can't get our hopes up without knowing that something else is following..
what's the point in hoping at all?
why not just put your hopes on the bottom.. Or in the middle, at least, so that things can't get any worse?
but sometimes I just can't help it, I get too happy.. too excited..
and the next thing I know, I'm down in the pits.
for the TCCers.. remember one of Elias' lectures for me.
about, well.. Constant-ness in life.
how we had to put everything in Jesus, put all our faith in God.. and eventually, everything turns out fine, and there's no more of this roller coaster of life?
but isn't life all about obstacles and getting over them?
as the cart's rolling up.. maybe there are obstacles we need to overcome, once we get to the top, we're on top of the world.. we can see everything, we're ecstatic..
but then, we know it can't last. We roll down the tracks, at super speed, and sooner or later you’re back down. And it’s repetitive.
It’s happy moments like these where I think about the importance of hope.. Because to tell you the truth, before today I had completely lost hope and I told myself to get over it.
And then something like this happens, and I’m back on the ‘hope’ track.
I’m not saying that hope is bad. We all need hope. NEED. In order to want something, we all need the hope that one day we’ll get it. It’s the drive, the motivation that keeps us going for the prize. But what if one day you lose hope? And then suddenly.. You start hoping again.
Way to be bipolar, Hope.
well.. what if it's 11/11/09?
ahaha, not that a wish came true today. but something good did come out of this day.
not just no school.. I actually WANTED school, home life isn't all that great right now.
-
sometimes my hopes get dragged down all the way to the bottom and I somewhat lose hope, lose the faith.. but then something good happens and I just get all my hopes back, I'm ecstatic, and I rise up to Cloud 9.
and then it goes back down again. eventually, the happiness has to end.
why is that?
why is it that every time something good happens..
we know that something bad is coming.
no matter how great that moment or memory was..
I just can't be happy for too long.. I know something's going to ruin it.
so the only thing I can actually do is just not be too excited, not get my hopes up.
what's the point in hope, then?
if we can't get our hopes up without knowing that something else is following..
what's the point in hoping at all?
why not just put your hopes on the bottom.. Or in the middle, at least, so that things can't get any worse?
but sometimes I just can't help it, I get too happy.. too excited..
and the next thing I know, I'm down in the pits.
for the TCCers.. remember one of Elias' lectures for me.
about, well.. Constant-ness in life.
how we had to put everything in Jesus, put all our faith in God.. and eventually, everything turns out fine, and there's no more of this roller coaster of life?
but isn't life all about obstacles and getting over them?
as the cart's rolling up.. maybe there are obstacles we need to overcome, once we get to the top, we're on top of the world.. we can see everything, we're ecstatic..
but then, we know it can't last. We roll down the tracks, at super speed, and sooner or later you’re back down. And it’s repetitive.
It’s happy moments like these where I think about the importance of hope.. Because to tell you the truth, before today I had completely lost hope and I told myself to get over it.
And then something like this happens, and I’m back on the ‘hope’ track.
I’m not saying that hope is bad. We all need hope. NEED. In order to want something, we all need the hope that one day we’ll get it. It’s the drive, the motivation that keeps us going for the prize. But what if one day you lose hope? And then suddenly.. You start hoping again.
Way to be bipolar, Hope.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
jealousy and worth.
so I was thinking today.. do you realize how easily people become jealous?
you can say that you don't.
but I know I do. I get jealous when people have great skill.. and I want to be just like them. but I know inside that I can't do it. even if it's art, or music.. there's always someone better than you, and I guess you just have to strive to be as good as them.
sometimes I think that there is nothing for me in the world.. nothing I'm good at.
and maybe that's true. but that doesn't mean you, or me, should give up and stop trying. I realized that. just because you may have been told that you are stupid/bad/worthless etc., it doesn't mean you should stop trying.
prove yourself to those people who don't believe you.
make them take back their words.
show them who you really are, and who you can be.
don't be scared to show yourself.
I don't know what's wrong with me lately.. but I'm just in a very weird situation now a days. I'm really worried about what people think of me. usually.. I just go off being weird and shrug off weird looks/comments. now.. it always hits me hard. not hard, necessarily.. just differently. I think it's high school. or maybe I'm just needing a dose of TAF to remind me who I am. either or, I just have to tell myself that I'm proud of what I am. and you know what. I am. it's surprising. even though it hits me when people make fun of me.. I laugh WITH them. I don't know. I just gotta get over it. it's just a moment.
olive juice guys. spread some more love.
goodnight. have a good week!
you can say that you don't.
but I know I do. I get jealous when people have great skill.. and I want to be just like them. but I know inside that I can't do it. even if it's art, or music.. there's always someone better than you, and I guess you just have to strive to be as good as them.
sometimes I think that there is nothing for me in the world.. nothing I'm good at.
and maybe that's true. but that doesn't mean you, or me, should give up and stop trying. I realized that. just because you may have been told that you are stupid/bad/worthless etc., it doesn't mean you should stop trying.
prove yourself to those people who don't believe you.
make them take back their words.
show them who you really are, and who you can be.
don't be scared to show yourself.
I don't know what's wrong with me lately.. but I'm just in a very weird situation now a days. I'm really worried about what people think of me. usually.. I just go off being weird and shrug off weird looks/comments. now.. it always hits me hard. not hard, necessarily.. just differently. I think it's high school. or maybe I'm just needing a dose of TAF to remind me who I am. either or, I just have to tell myself that I'm proud of what I am. and you know what. I am. it's surprising. even though it hits me when people make fun of me.. I laugh WITH them. I don't know. I just gotta get over it. it's just a moment.
olive juice guys. spread some more love.
goodnight. have a good week!
halloween.
this year was good. brilliant.
I was a nerd in the morning for the football game; I was smart & wore shorts (:
then I changed into a gangster at night!
the football game was fun. lets just say I'm pretty crazy when I'm cold. Deger found that out today. and Dillard. them cool cats.
Joseph and I wore sunglasses while trick-or-treating.
yeah, I know you think we're super cool. aha and then we practiced walking like gangsters down my sidewalk; lets just say my pants were down pretty low. ;P
I had shorts under, no worries. (:
I got 1/4 of a pillowcase full of candy.
we went to my house & watched Scary Movie 3 and ate my ramen. speaking of, there is no more.
overall, really good night.
it's all good.
I was a nerd in the morning for the football game; I was smart & wore shorts (:
then I changed into a gangster at night!
the football game was fun. lets just say I'm pretty crazy when I'm cold. Deger found that out today. and Dillard. them cool cats.
Joseph and I wore sunglasses while trick-or-treating.
yeah, I know you think we're super cool. aha and then we practiced walking like gangsters down my sidewalk; lets just say my pants were down pretty low. ;P
I had shorts under, no worries. (:
I got 1/4 of a pillowcase full of candy.
we went to my house & watched Scary Movie 3 and ate my ramen. speaking of, there is no more.
overall, really good night.
it's all good.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)