the necessity of hope.

is it true that wishes come true on 11:11?
well.. what if it's 11/11/09?
ahaha, not that a wish came true today. but something good did come out of this day.
not just no school.. I actually WANTED school, home life isn't all that great right now.
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sometimes my hopes get dragged down all the way to the bottom and I somewhat lose hope, lose the faith.. but then something good happens and I just get all my hopes back, I'm ecstatic, and I rise up to Cloud 9.
and then it goes back down again. eventually, the happiness has to end.
why is that?
why is it that every time something good happens..
we know that something bad is coming.
no matter how great that moment or memory was..
I just can't be happy for too long.. I know something's going to ruin it.
so the only thing I can actually do is just not be too excited, not get my hopes up.
what's the point in hope, then?
if we can't get our hopes up without knowing that something else is following..
what's the point in hoping at all?
why not just put your hopes on the bottom.. Or in the middle, at least, so that things can't get any worse?
but sometimes I just can't help it, I get too happy.. too excited..
and the next thing I know, I'm down in the pits.
for the TCCers.. remember one of Elias' lectures for me.
about, well.. Constant-ness in life.
how we had to put everything in Jesus, put all our faith in God.. and eventually, everything turns out fine, and there's no more of this roller coaster of life?
but isn't life all about obstacles and getting over them?
as the cart's rolling up.. maybe there are obstacles we need to overcome, once we get to the top, we're on top of the world.. we can see everything, we're ecstatic..
but then, we know it can't last. We roll down the tracks, at super speed, and sooner or later you’re back down. And it’s repetitive.
It’s happy moments like these where I think about the importance of hope.. Because to tell you the truth, before today I had completely lost hope and I told myself to get over it.
And then something like this happens, and I’m back on the ‘hope’ track.
I’m not saying that hope is bad. We all need hope. NEED. In order to want something, we all need the hope that one day we’ll get it. It’s the drive, the motivation that keeps us going for the prize. But what if one day you lose hope? And then suddenly.. You start hoping again.

Way to be bipolar, Hope.