Recent News

I don't know who saw/noticed, but last night sucked.
haha, I know that's weird.. but that's the best way I can put it.

my dad was just not very nice, in the least. let's just say he said some things that really hurt me. and I didn't know how to handle it, but blog about it.
I was pretty sad. I didn't show it, but I was just hurt by all the things he called me and what he said. I deleted the blogs- but I'll forever remember everything he said.

I might not remember everything I said, though. hehe.

anyway, I was on my Formspring and someone had told me something.
they said they saw my blogs, and they were worried about me, as I seemed so happy.
strangely enough, that touched me. deep. it was nice knowing someone cared. therefore, I know I deleted those previous blogs, because I just don't like telling people what goes on with me, but I just want to thank everyone, and you, whoever you are, (darn formspring and it's anonymity.)
but thank you so much. I know I expressed that in my Formspring ANSWER, but I just want to tell you how nice that made me feel. it made me feel that even though you were 'creeping', someone cared.

and to tell the truth, that's all I needed to feel.
but I also need to say something else.

it was tough to forget, all that happened the previous days. it hurts, I'm not gonna lie. and I'm probably never going to forget what happened.
life-changing? I think yes.

but here's some happy parts for y'all. yes, there's a happy part.

I was listening to Klove when I got home from my flute lesson, and then they started talking about how there are some people who are very depressed and just have trouble with many things in their lives, and they started praying for them.

it was then I realized that through everything that happens- God pulls us out in the end. these obstacles, no matter how tough they will be: God is with us through our whole trip. that he is watching us, and that he is there for us.

that HE understands, when we feel like no one else can.

I don't know, that just, snapped me out of it.
I had forgotten everything I'd thought previously.

after the rain.
after the thunderstorm- there's a rainbow.

and that's how I'd been thinking- until recently.
I don't know what'll happen in the future,
I don't know what'll happen tonight,
I don't know what'll happen tomorrow.

but I know whatever happens, He is with me and He understands, He is walking with me, He is carrying me, He is holding my hand, I am with Him. and with Him, everything will turn out in the end.


"The sun is always going to come out in the morning, even if it's a cloudy day."

it's wishing season.

hey y'all, it's wishing season.
do you see all the fuzzies blowing around?
the beautiful skies?
the gleaming sun?
the green grass all around?
the annoying yet beautiful weeds?

mm. I love Spring & Summer.
it's WISHING SEASON!
to tell the truth, though.. I'm not a big fan of wishes.

I know, I know. pessimistic, much?
I try to AVOID 11:11 and 12:34. I used to LOVE those times and want to wish.
but then I realized,
Wishing Doesn't Get You Anywhere.
it's true.
when you're little, you WISH for everything.
and you BELIEVE.
I'm not saying I don't believe anymore, I just don't believe in Wishes.
sure, Disney Movies claim otherwise.
they make it seem so believable. I used to want to be Peter Pan, and never grow up.

then, reality hit.

life's never as easy as it seems in the movies. sometimes I don't like those movies. they're good, I'll say, but they give you a false interpretation of life.
yeah, it seems all sweet, and sure, I WISH I could have that...
but it's a movie.
snap back into reality, Maria.

Idk, I just don't find the point in Wishing. Wishing is like hope. and I had hope explained to me previously before too.
wait. I take that back. I understand hope. Wishing, in a way, is different from hope.
Hope is what keeps you going to the next day, it pushes you along.
I think Wishing is just wanting something that you might not get.

It's wishing season, but I'm refraining from making any wishes, unless I have to.
because I truly believe,
that wishing does not get you anywhere.
it's what you do and where you go.

but, I hope everyone's wishes do come true.
it's '10. decade, man. make wishes, hope they'll come true, and have the summer of your LIVES.

I'll try to make wishes. sometimes, I just want to feel like those people in the movies.
and I'll hope and keep my fingers crossed for them to come true.

but wait... so, it's hope in the end?

future.

http://shop.usa.canon.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_10051_10051_204269_-1



THAT IS THE CAMERA I WANT.
cheapest camera I could find, they sell it at Walmart.
RAHHHHH. Idk, I know the dream of "Photography" my sound far-fetched and just, not possible? but I really want to. I feel like it's one way where I can legitimately express myself and just, it's something I like to do.
I'd like to pursue it, but we'll see how it turns out.
My friend said, "I like photography. the kind of photography that's worth a thousand and one words."
and yeah, she put my thoughts exactly into words.

mmm, hopefully I'm able to do SOMETHING with Photography. we can dream and hope, can't we?
(*& my mom said she'd consider, keep your fingers crossed!)
_________________________________________________________________

words are powerful.

"Never accept words meant to hurt. Turn them back because they are the responsibility of the speaker. When you are caught off guard, hold the emotions in silence for a moment and tell them to be still. It takes longer to forget than it does to forgive - and time heals when we give it the power."
-Joyce Sequichie Hifler

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."
-Mother Teresa

"You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime."
-Dale Carnegie

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
-Rudyard Kipling

"Speaking your mind is an awfully dangerous thing to do. Choose your words carefully."
-Rick Beneteau


every. single. one. of these quotes. explain how I feel.
there's moments, when people I expect not to care,
and people I don't even know/talk to on a daily basis,
say things that change my day. make my day better.
when that day was terrible previously.
I owe my life to those people.

It's funny how the people who make your day better, are people who you never expected to care.

_____________________________________________

but then, there's the other side.
painful words.
Words are powerful. I know they might be joking, they might be kidding.
and I'm okay with that. I can deal with that. I laugh about it, shove it off.
or, attempt to.
but what hurts the most is,

when you start to believe those words.



words are powerful.

hope.

recently, I had a big letdown.
I refused to have hope.
I decided, if you get let down in the end,
and you get disappointed,
and it's painful,

there's no point in hoping.
I'm glad my friend made me realize the importance of keeping hope.

He promises me that in my life, He is doing the good for me, and He tells me that I don't need to worry about life because He is taking care of me
so I have hope.