Pardon My Absence.

Hello all, (or none)

Pardon my absence from this wonderful world of bloggin'.
Last week I found out randomly that people DO read my blogs & it's like WHOA ALL AT ONCE WHAT and I became really self conscious of it... but now I'm just deciding to pretend I never heard any of it teeheehee. but Thanks for reading, guys. :)
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OKAYTOPIC. NEWTOPIC. NOMORESELFCONSCIOUSNESS.
I like sticking all of my words together :)

So the other day, I was thinkin'.

I don't know how long y'all have known me, but I was told that when I was little I used to smile. A LOT. AND LIKE. BE HAPPY GO LUCKY. AND STUFF.

Now, now. Calm your horses. I'm not saying I don't smile & I'm not happy anymore, but I know that I don't have that 24/7 smile that people used to talk about.

Sure, they were probably exaggerating. But I do know that once in a while I get extremely depressed about NOTHING AT ALL, (or maybe sometimes something,) but I know that sometimes things upset me extremely easily.

I don't know, I can't really give you an example right now... but I usually get upset easily, sometimes. SOMETIMES*. Like I don't know, sometimes I'm really bipolar... I'm really happy one moment but then something happens, or someone says something that really IRKS me and I'm just like, oh, poo. :|

YEAH. SO UH. what was I talking about? Oh, the past. right.

I think as life goes on, you're faced with challenges and let's say, OBSTACLES/HURDLES in the RACE OF LIFE. AROUND THE RACE TRACK.

You can either try your best, and JUMP across the hurdle with pride and determination, or you can not try as hard, and trip over the hurdle... getting past it, but getting injured in the way, & not learning anything new.

Of course, you could also just STOP running and walk around the hurdle but seriously, you'd get disqualified from the track meet. Or something. there'd be consequences, I know that much.


I think everything in life happens for a reason.
Am I being overdramatic? yes. In my head, there's a soap opera goin' on.

Anyhoo. yeah, I truly believe that. For example. if something terrible happens and I'm just like in ANGUISH and I completely wish it didn't happen, I just think that God has a plan for me and everything I'm going through and the path I'm walking is on his map for me.

I think of God's plan for me like a map. Yes, I can go stray, and I can walk off the path into the Forbidden Forest (Harry Potter reference!), but in the end he pulls me through, gives me directions to go back to the right path, or the main path, and eventually I end up in the right place, the place where I belong, the place where I want to be.

You could think of the "stray paths" the 'hurdles' or the obstacles I referred to.

The thing is, I've talked about this topic before. and I'll stress it again. Whenever you're going through something bad, or a big problem... what's the one thing almost everyone thinks?

During their moments of pain and suffer, what's the one thing that EVERYONE thinks?


that they're alone.


I'll admit it, I'm afraid to be alone.
Okay, not afraid. Well.. yeah, kinda afraid. okay, I need a better word choice.

not as much "AFRAID", as I just DON'T LIKE being alone. I feel insecure and just vulnerable. I feel, weak and not proud. I don't feel like myself and I just feel, like I've failed everyone and I'm not good enough.


YEAH. OKAY. maybe afraid. because I don't like feeling those things. I don't like feeling rejected, or being by myself.

Well, sometimes I do. Sometimes I like it just me, myself, and I. ANTISOCIALITY. Sometimes I really do like being by myself.

but is it always really Me, Myself, and I? or is there, uh, a fourth perspective? er, not perspective... person*? hehe.

Erurhm. WELL BASICALLY. God's always there. simple and that's it.

I think that when you like being alone, it's time that God wants you to reflect on Him and everything that you've gone through and everything that He's done for you. That's the time he's really given you to think and just be alone.

So yes, I do believe sometimes it's okay to be alone...



and when you feel alone, you're really not.

I knew someone who legitimately was scared of being alone.
Yeah, well.

You're never really truly alone, even if no physical being is near you.

Think about who you have with you.

No, maybe not visually. Maybe not physically.

Inside you, yoooo.

:DDDD

God's always with youuuu!




Hopefully, that'll give you a reason to smile ^_______^